Friday, March 4, 2011

Mission Impossible

"Just as lotions and frangrance give delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul."
~ Proverbs 27:9   The Message

Do you remember that very first blog I wrote about my "best friend" Tammy and I?

We were sitting on a beach in Cozumel, Mexico. She challenged me to write this blog. She went so far as to set the entire blog up...and then said "DO IT! " I mentioned during that first entry that we had been friends since 7th grade. I also eluded to the fact that there was more to the story and I would share it another day. Today is that day.

Tam is beautiful, athletic, intelligent, and articulate. She is the All American Girl. We met in middle school. The boy I liked , liked her! That seems so silly now but back then, it was big! I always admired everything about Tam. She possessed a lot of the qualities that I wanted to have, but didn't feel like I did. In addition to that, she had a great, intact family. She had parents who loved her, supported her. Brothers who protected her.

So....our friendship started in middle school and progressed to high school. We went to dances together, had a few classes together, did track together. We worked on the Prom Steering Committee together, had sleepovers, you get the idea. We were normal teenage girls and for the most part life was pretty good. Until that day during our senior year when Tam climbed into my car and announced that she was pregnant. Although she was confident and matter-of-fact (she chomped on an apple while she told me) I knew this was a moment that would change everything.

The last few months of high school, other students became aware of Tammy's pregnancy. Of course, there was gossip, speculation, stares and lots of questions. It became apparent very quickly that people were NOT choosing to support Tammy or her decision to keep her baby. I vowed I would not  be one of those people. She was my friend. I loved her and I committed to supporting her, through the fun stuff AND the rough stuff.

That summer after graduation, I remember shopping for baby clothes together. We floated together in the pool, watching her ever-growing tummy bob above the water. Tam's mom and I supported her and coached her through Lamaze classes and celebrated with her during her baby showers. In November of that year, Tam gave birth to the most beautiful BIG baby boy I have ever seen. Because of complications during the delivery I wasn't present at his birth but I was in the hallway, waiting with Tam's Dad. It was, and still remains one of the most beautiful memories I have.

It wasn't long after his birth that my relationship with Tam began to change. Distance grew and words went unspoken. Too many months passed and too many awkward moments transpired. It hurt. It hurt us both. In our immaturity, stubbornness, who knows what it was, subsequently , we let the friendship fade. When that friendship faded there was a deep deep sense of regret and loss. We missed each other's weddings. We missed more babies being born. We missed supporting each other through the trials of life. We really missed, ya know?

And then one spectacular day 18 years later, came a phone call. One I never, ever, expected to receive. I immediately recognized the voice but I could not place it. One sentence changed all that. "A long time ago, you supported me through a very difficult time in my life". I instantly started to cry. IT WAS TAMMY <3

Since that time, Tammy and I have obviously re-connected. We started having lunches together and sharing simple facts about our lives. We went for walks and talked about our families, our friends, and occasionally our faith. We started attending church together and Sunday school. We went away to a women's retreat for the weekend. Each time we spent together, the friendship grew. We went on vacation together last October and truth be told we were once again the 14 year old girls, giggling late into the night.  Again, a precious memory I treasure in my heart.  To this day, each conversation, visit, email, leaves me with this incredible feeling of love, peace, and as though God has his hands all over it!

That phone call was 5 years ago. It doesn't seem possible. Actually it seems IMPOSSIBLE. This friendship has been transformed into one of my greatest joys in life. Tam and I can talk about anything. I share secrets with her I would never tell another soul. We celebrate the victories of life, a job promotion, losing 5 lbs, or finding a great bargain. We also share the trials of life.....the argument with our husbands, the difficulties of raising teens, the frustrations of not being able to do everything that needs to be done. We share the big details and the smallest. Our husbands will attest to that! They are both quite certain we hold the world's record for text messaging.

We also share a deep and passionate faith in God. I am convinced that God whispered to Tam that day in the car "call Michelle ". I am convinced God has whispered to me more than a few times "you can trust her, let her in". The fear of losing this friendship can paralyze me at times.  I am convinced that God has used this friendship to love and support each other through difficult times. I am convinced that God uses both Tam and I to speak truth to each other, to challenge each other,  to be real with each other and to show others the healing power of forgiveness.

It is incredible, unbelievable, IMPOSSIBLE that a friendship that went 18 years with barely a word spoken,  could be transformed into the most beloved friendship I have ever experienced. I have had a lot of friends since high school, even a few I thought were "best friends". But until you see what a true friendship looks like, you don't have anything to compare it to.

Who is your BFF? Have you told them how important they are to your life? Have you thanked God for them? If not, why?

Dear God~

I will forever be grateful for the restoration of my friendship with Tammy. Thank you for showing me what a "best friend forever" looks like. Make me  the kind of friend to Tam that she is to me. Give me the grace to extend forgiveness and love to others around me. May we always give honor and glory for this friendship to YOU. In Jesus' name  ~Amen.



  1. I will be eternally grateful to God for placing you in my life 22 years ago when I needed a true friend and then again 5 years ago when I was ready to BE that true friend. I love you with all my heart <3 xoxo

  2. Incredibly beautiful thank you for sharing.

  3. Michelle CrovettiMarch 5, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    Absolutely beautiful! You two have something special a friendship blessed by God that most people do not find in a lifetime. Keep sharing your writing is so great and we are blessed be reading it!