Thursday, November 8, 2012

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart'" ~ 1Samuel 16:7

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

the extra weight?
frown lines?
gray hairs?
dark circles?
brown eyes you wished were green?
crooked teeth?

Maybe you're like me....instead of physical attributes or flaws, you look deeper? Are you reminded of your mistakes? do you hear the voices of the past pointing at you reminding you that you're......

a mistake?

I have a friend, her name is Veronica. No that's not her real name and no she isn't "me". She could be though. She's a mini-me. Veronica and I share many many similarities. Our bond began when we realized we are both broken children, from broken homes, born of broken parents. 

When I look into her eyes, I see the hurt, the worry, the fear, the confusion, and the yearning. I see this young woman, her whole life infront of  her, desperate to get it right. Afraid she'll never heal, never know REAL love, never measure up. All she can see is her own inner turmoil.

She reminds me so much of myself 20 years ago. I wanted so badly to create the perfect life. A loving husband, 2.5 children, a puppy bounding through the yard. I wanted the Norman Rockwell holidays with family and the Caribbean vacations with dear friends. I  wanted the best friend forever and the satisfying job with a decent paycheck. I wanted all of those things and never  dared to dream they'd truly become MY reality.

Veronica has become one of my treasured friends and a surrogate daughter of sorts. There's so much I want to show her, teach her, remind her. In doing so, I'm reminding myself. I'm able to see how far I've come and how grateful am. So my sweet girl, this letter is for you....and its for me

Dear Veronica:

You have absolutely no idea how wonderful you are. I am going to remind you.  The world has lied to you. People, including your parents, have made some terrible decisions that have affected your life and your health and your idea of who you are. They were wrong.

You are brilliant and funny and beautiful. Every day, you make someone smile, feel loved, feel special. Every single day. period.

You are perfect. Your eyes are just the right color, your hair has just the right curl, your arms are exactly the right length. I promise you, God has created you to be exactly who you are. You are perfect.

You have nothing to be afraid of. This is your life, you hold the paper and the pen. You get to create this masterpiece. You decide where you go from here. All those dreams you have are at your fingertips. Stop being afraid and live.

You don't have to be strong. When you show who you really are to others, you allow them the freedom to  be real with you too. We are all hurt, wounded, confused. Some hide it better than others but its true. We all desperately want, need to be loved.

You don't have to pretend to be anyone other than yourself. All of those things about you that you think are "crazy" or "weird" are pieces of yourself and they are awesome. AWESOMEEEEEE! Celebrate them!

I love coffee, hate bananas, cry at weddings, love to  read until the weeee hours of the morning. I ran my first 5k at 42 years old, 100 lbs over weight. I never get the words to the song right, I'm a shameless Momma Bear when it comes to my girls and I have been in love with the same man my entire life. THIS IS ME. If someone can't deal with that, see ya!

Veronica, be you, because I think you is fantastic. I see you on the other side of the mirror and I promise you, it'll work out just fine. I love you. I'll be here for you. Night or day, during the darkest moments and the moments we laugh until we cry. I'll be here.

Que Bruno Mars: "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, 'cause you're amazing, just the way you are"

Dear God, it is my deepest prayer, my sweet friend will realize all she is, is all that she needs to be. SHE is perfect just the way she is. Show her the joy in each day, bless her with loving family and friends and fulfill her deepest dreams and desires. ~amen!

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