Monday, August 27, 2012

"sticks & stones"

" Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing"~ Proverbs 12:18

We've all heard the little children's rhyme "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me". I don't think anything could be further from the truth. Words break us, often deeper and harder and longer than sticks and stones ever could. Some words wound so deeply, that without divine intervention you can never heal.

This weekend I attended my daughter's field hockey jamboree. I so looked forward to the day with my hubby, soaking up the sunshine and watching my daughter begin her senior year of high school doing something that brings her joy.

It wasn't long before my "perfect day" was rudely interrupted. A little boy, 7 maybe 8 years old, happily walked along  the edge of the playing field, singing to himself, lost in his own happy little world. Distracted and unaware, he crossed into playing territory. Please understand, the game was actually at the other end of the field at the time. He was in no way interfering with the field hockey game.

Suddenly his little face changed as his  mother began to rant from bleachers. One explative after another, she chastised the poor kid for walking onto the field. A small infraction caused such an extreme reaction. I wondered how she'd react if he'd done something REALLY wrong.

An hour or so later, a different field and a different game later,  I overheard a conversation between  the husband and wife beside us.

"Who is #16?"
"Oh that's Sarah"
"Well, she's not very good. How did SHE make Varsity?!!"

Everything in me began to BOIL. Seriously? This woman was referring to her daughter's team mate! She cleary didn't know who the player was, which also infers she had no idea who the parents were. How did she know this girl's mom wasn't  sitting beside her in the bleachers? How did she know I wasn't this girls mom!?

This has been weighing on my mind ever since. For years I have listened to the opinions and the voices and the words around me. Like a sponge, I have soaked them in, absorbed them and held onto them. My heart and my soul have become stained with the thoughts and opinions of others. I have become infected, like a sponge will if its not properly cleaned and disinfected.

"You're so stupid"

"You're so fat"

"You look, smell, act, like a french whore"

"You'll never amount to anything"

"You disgust me, embarass me"

"You're a bad friend"

"You can't do anything right"

"You're just like your father"

"You can't do THAT! Who do you think  you are?"

I could go on and on with the list. My point is this.....our children, the childen in our sphere of influence,  BELIEVE everything we tell them. If you tell them they are ugly, they'll believe you. If you tell them they're stupid, they'll believe you. If you tell them they're useless, they'll believe.

I have spent 42 years trying to reprogram the recurring soundtrack in my mind. It continues to be a battle I fight every day.

Please please please be careful with your words. They can build up or they can tear down. Not only children but adults as well. Sticks and stone do break bones, but words break souls and spirits.

Dear Lord, help me to choose my words wisely. May I use them to encourage, love, support, celebrate, cheer on the people I come into contact with each day. I pray you will continue to help me discard the lies that no longer serve me. Teach me to be who you say I am, not who others say I am. In your name I pray, Amen <3

Happy Monday Hugs!



  1. So sadly it is very true....some words never seem to leave and the damage is life changing.........Thank you for writing this..

  2. I'm sorry about this experience. It would have been very hard for me not to rip into them as well. Remember,"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45. Sometimes people are lost, sometimes people are just stupid...just saying...Love ya.

  3. Michelle, I can relate to your writing. You hit the nail on the head, nobody really knows what "words" can break down a person even as an adult. Keep up writing, I love reading!!