Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Wish List

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

From the time my girls were very little, as the holiday season approached, they would make me a "Christmas Wish List". It started out being a craft project. We'd sit down with paper and crayons, glitter and glue and work on special "letters to Santa". It was the perfect way for me to find out what their hearts desires were, so that I could make their special wish come true. The "wishes" have ranged from barbies and bikes to tvs and ipods. One year, there was even a wish for a clarinet. That's another story for another day, however.

As the girls have gotten older,  the wish list event has too. Its no longer a sit-down-with-Mom-time to color and dream. Yup, kids grow up, whether we want them to or not.  For a time, Kristi would leave post-it notes, on my bureau or my nightstand.  Recently Chelsea prefers to send me links on FaceBook for the items she's wishing  for. Somehow, they always find a way to communicate with me what it is they want.  I've even asked Chris to give me his wish list......so that he's not disappointed on Christmas morning. There's nothing more exciting that watching someone you love, open the gift they've been dreaming about, is there?

There have been a couple of times I've been able to pull off a full blown surprise. The beloved clarinet (I promise I'll share that story sometime), the all expenses paid trip to the softball coaching convention, and the treasured cell phone. Those are probably my favorite moments....they each knew they'd get a gift on Christmas morning, but they had NO IDEA how awesome it would be!

As I drove home from bible study last night I started thinking about my own wishes.....................

I wish there were more hours in a day

I wish I had more money

I wish I had someone to clean my house

I wish I hadn't said that

I wish I could spend more time with my husband, my daughters, my best friend

I wish I could lose this weight

I wish I could forgive the friend who betrayed me, the father who abandoned me, the people who have let me down and hurt me. I want to know what that feels like....to truly forgive someone, to just "let it go" and move on.

I wish I had faith so deep and so honest and true that I believed everything God says about me. I want to be me, knowing that God created me this way and loves me this way.

I wish I had courage. I want to walk into a room, not worry about what people think, what people say, about me, my weight, my faith.

I wish I could trust God, trust his plan, trust his decisions, trust his Word. I don't want to try to control everything in my life. I'm sick of trying!  I want  to let him to handle the details and I want to follow his lead.

I wish.....I wish I had the faith, love, heart for God the way other people seem to. I WANT to know that kind of love. I want to love God will all of my heart, my soul and my mind.

I wish * I wish * I wish *

I wish for joy.  I wish for peace.  I wish for contentment. I wish for love. I wish for forgiveness. This is the season for miracles! I'm going all out on my Christmas wish list.

Dear God:

You have already given me far more than I deserve and yet, like the child I am..... I want more. I want more of you. Give me a heart to understand. A willingness to learn and  to ask questions, the determination and grace to forgive. Give me the courage to step over my fears and become the person you know I am. Give me the faith to trust you, in all of the big decisions and the smallest ones too.  It is my deepest desire to know you, to really and truly know you. You have  proven time and time again, that you can surprise me with gifts I never expected, never imagined and never dared ask for! With a grateful heart & in your son's name, Amen.

What is it you're wishing for this Christmas? Have you asked?

Holiday Hugs!

1 comment:

  1. I'm wishing all my family (kids and grand kids) are all healthy and happy this Christmas season.
    Trying my best to keep it simple, knowing I've already been given so many blessings, I could never count them all if I tried.