Friday, October 29, 2010

"Who Am I?"

"For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well"~Psalm 139:14

Welcome Back! Thank GOD its Friday :).....right?!

Today I thought I'd share a difficult assignment I was given this week. Each Monday evening I attend a bible study called "Boundaries" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Its a terrific bible study and I would highly recommend it to EVERYONE! Anyway, during the course of our discussion this past Monday, our Pastor, "Babs"  posed the question "Who Am I?" With some reservation, although not much,  she assigned us all an essay. I immediately bristled!

Unfortunately, her question also contained qualifiers. We could not include "roles" such as I am a mother, I am wife....and we couldn't use "god-talk" such as "I am saved by the blood of the Lamb". Well, there goes MY essay!!!! This essay should include my feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices and values. Ugh.

Who am I?


Who am I?

Who am I? .........this is what I came up with :

Its a legitimate question. Its a tough question!!!! I already hate this assignment, does that give you any indication of "who I am"? I've spent the past 20+ years losing myself, so I'm not entirely sure. I have lost myself in the busyness of parenting, creating a home, working, chores, basically the  existence we call life. I'm not sure who I am exactly but I'll give this  my best shot.

I am......
~a woman deeply in love with her husband, her children and her friends. I am always ready to "go the extra mile" to prove my love. Sometimes I'll do it at my own expense. I am willing to sacrifice my time, my money, my energy, even myself, to take care of people. Often I take care of people I don't know. Yes, I am a text book case of codependency. I am the friend who's great to have beside you in a crisis.

I am......
~a woman who struggles with feelings in general. Including but not limited to  fear, anxiety, depression and anger. I often use food to supress these feelings. I am the by-product of a broken home and child survivor of domestic violence.

I am.......
~a woman who wants more than anything to believe....that all God says is true....about Himself, about me, about love. I want to know it and to feel it. I want to believe I am loved and accepted. I know intellectually what the Bible says, I just want to feel it with all of my heart.

I am......
~a woman who loves bible studies, reading, writing, crochetting.I love shopping for a bargain and I absolutely adore a fantastic purse!  I love any of the Real Housewives shows! I love babies and laughter and the smell of my husbands hair. I love the sound of the rain and having coffee on the porch at dawn. I love having a best friend to share my real self with, trusting she can handle, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I am......
~fiercely loyal, a bit overprotective, often defensive and too critical of myself and others. I am surprisingly stubborn and a perfectionist at heart (that is...I'm a control freak). By now you know, I am also an "Open Book".

I am......
~still learning, growing and hoping!

and I'm wondering......who are YOU? I'd love to hear your feedback. Have a blessed weekend!



  1. Everyone in this world has a true self. All too often in life, we actually attempt to change for no other reason to but to please and be accepted by others. Which will only ever cause heartache and pain to all in the end.
    Chel, I gave you a nickname long ago because I wanted it to remind you never to take life too seriously and be able to laugh at lots of it. That's a lesson all of us need to work on daily.
    God loves us. How can we not smile and be happy?

  2. You know I completely agree with Ron's comments, I was able to say as much this week in our texting. Letting go is the hardest thing to do but it is, by far, the best thing for our mental health. The more we dwell, the heavier the issue becomes and the longer we allow it to affect us. Taking our power back, through forgiveness, is liberating.

    Who am I?
    I'm an intelligent, strong, independent woman. I am previously broken, finally healed. I am an infertile mom. I am a woman completely in love with her husband that counts on him to be her partner in life, home, friendship. I am broke financially with a plan and goal to turn that all around. I am loved by many, even those I don't see or talk to often. I'm a terrible housekeeper, particularly with my laundry, that fights against her nature to keep her house presentable but far from perfect. I am almost constantly tired because I think so much it keeps me from sleeping. I am no longer practicing a religion but stronger in my spirituality than I've ever been in my life.