"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)
Nineteen years ago, my life and my heart changed forever. It is a day that is etched in my memory, the details as clear as though they happened yesterday.
During the first few minutes of Wednesday, November 13, 1991 I gave birth to my first child. A healthy, full head of hair, tiny fingers and toes, pink little bundle of joy.....Kristi graced the earth with her presence. As I looked into her face, I saw hope, dreams, laughter, and for the first time in my life, I felt unconditional love. I truly, deeply, profoundly understood what it mean to love someone more than life itself.
After three long days, several trips to the hospital, false alarms, monitors, injections, centimeters and such, Kristi Valori weighing 6 lbs 1 oz and a mere 19 1/2 inches long pushed her way into the world. Immediately, she became the fulfillment of a dream. She was the product of deep love between her father and I but she was and is so much more. She was the first grandchild and great grandchild in the family. Her arrival was anticipated and celebrated months before she actually drew her first breath.
As I sit here now, reflecting on that day, and the many since, I am in awe of the person she has become. She was the most beautiful baby girl. Her tiny ringlets framed her face and her laughter filled our home. She loved to play outside, help her Daddy and listen to her Pepere's stories. As she grew, it became more and more obvious to those who love her what a special girl Kristi would be. In grade school, she was the kind-hearted child who would help another student who struggled with a math assignment. She was loved by her teachers and had a wide circle of friends. Although very social, she also loved being at home, preferring to stay here at home and watch movies than go to the slumber party.
Junior High and High School brought more friends, more activities and many more choices. To this day, I admire how she handles those situations. Although friendly with everyone, she chooses her "friends" wisely. She loves to have fun and enjoy life but prefers to do that without using drugs, alcohol or mischief. A friend asked me recently, how I raised a child, in this society to be this way. I honestly, don't know. By the grace of God I think.
It would be sooo easy for me to look back and wish for her to be little again. To re-live the cookie baking, the pj days, the impromptu playdates with the Croteaus and the Blais's. To pine away for craft projects we made, the stories we read and the memories we made. Instead, as I pull into the parking lot of her dorm, I am overcome with emotion. Not with regret or the loss of my "baby girl" ...but with the realization that we have reached a new place in our relationship. We are no longer just mother & daughter.....we are friends.
Its a feeling and a place that makes my heart so full its difficult to express. Being Kristi's mom is a tremendous joy, it always has been and I assume it always will be.
Being her friend, is a blessing!
Hugs!
Michelle
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Salty or Sweet?
"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless." Matthew 5:13
One of the key struggles I had with my initial decision to accept Christ into my life was that I didn't want to lose who I was. I actually like me. My entire life, I worked hard to be different than other people..to actually not fit into a certain mold and although I struggled with friendships and relationships along the way because of that - I secretly enjoyed walking to the tune of my own drum. I am drawn to the person that stands out; I am intrigued by them.
A year ago, two of my girlfriends and I experienced a girls get-a-way week-end together at the beach. The bartender at the Inn we stayed at was one of these intriguing people. Because I'm drawn to interesting characteristics, this particular girl had many piercings, an attractive haircut and these deep, deep eyes that when you looked into them, you really saw her soul. Although what really intrigued me was the tattoo she had scribed across her chest that read: Beautiful Disaster. I absolutely loved it! Not that I'm about to go out and get a tattoo across my chest, but what it acknowledged for her was that her life wasn't perfect, and yes she had made many mistakes, however she had the courage to be who she was and was not apologetic for it. She didn't feel the need to be a certain way or fit into a certain mold. Whether it was the tattoo or perhaps the fact that I could really see into her soul that brought me to that conclusion, the end result was that I respected her for it. In fact, I had more respect for her unapologeticness (is that a word?) than I would if she was molded by society, her interpretation of what her life should be like, or whatever!
So, since my journey as Christian began in 2009, I am living my life and my walk with God "Tammy Style". For me, my relationship is unique and different than anyone else's and yes it comes with road bumps, stop signs and even very large brick walls; however a relationship with God "Tammy Style" means I am totally honest with God about my hang-ups, my challenges, my issues. When things don't make sense to me or I don't see God's bigger plan, I don't pretend I am happy about it but instead I say, "God - I totally don't get what is going on here and why these challenges are in my life but what I do know for sure is that you have a plan. And thank goodness because I have no idea what to do next. So, I'm just gonna let go and let you handle it."
I'm am soo thankful that God in fact wants me to be different! He wants a relationship with me "Tammy Style" and he wants me to stand out in the crowd so that others will have the courage to step out in faith too! How about you? What's your style?
xoxo
Tammy
One of the key struggles I had with my initial decision to accept Christ into my life was that I didn't want to lose who I was. I actually like me. My entire life, I worked hard to be different than other people..to actually not fit into a certain mold and although I struggled with friendships and relationships along the way because of that - I secretly enjoyed walking to the tune of my own drum. I am drawn to the person that stands out; I am intrigued by them.
A year ago, two of my girlfriends and I experienced a girls get-a-way week-end together at the beach. The bartender at the Inn we stayed at was one of these intriguing people. Because I'm drawn to interesting characteristics, this particular girl had many piercings, an attractive haircut and these deep, deep eyes that when you looked into them, you really saw her soul. Although what really intrigued me was the tattoo she had scribed across her chest that read: Beautiful Disaster. I absolutely loved it! Not that I'm about to go out and get a tattoo across my chest, but what it acknowledged for her was that her life wasn't perfect, and yes she had made many mistakes, however she had the courage to be who she was and was not apologetic for it. She didn't feel the need to be a certain way or fit into a certain mold. Whether it was the tattoo or perhaps the fact that I could really see into her soul that brought me to that conclusion, the end result was that I respected her for it. In fact, I had more respect for her unapologeticness (is that a word?) than I would if she was molded by society, her interpretation of what her life should be like, or whatever!
So, since my journey as Christian began in 2009, I am living my life and my walk with God "Tammy Style". For me, my relationship is unique and different than anyone else's and yes it comes with road bumps, stop signs and even very large brick walls; however a relationship with God "Tammy Style" means I am totally honest with God about my hang-ups, my challenges, my issues. When things don't make sense to me or I don't see God's bigger plan, I don't pretend I am happy about it but instead I say, "God - I totally don't get what is going on here and why these challenges are in my life but what I do know for sure is that you have a plan. And thank goodness because I have no idea what to do next. So, I'm just gonna let go and let you handle it."
I'm am soo thankful that God in fact wants me to be different! He wants a relationship with me "Tammy Style" and he wants me to stand out in the crowd so that others will have the courage to step out in faith too! How about you? What's your style?
xoxo
Tammy
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Little Tikes
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"~ 1 John 3:1
I love my job. It's true! Anyone one who knows me, knows I do.
I am a daycare provider. Five days a week I welcome 3 beautiful children into my home and do my very best to love and care for them like they were my own. I make bottles and change diapers. I read stories and kiss boo-boos. I serve lunches and tuck sweet sleepy faces in for naps. I trip over toys and wipe up spills. I dance with Elmo and the gang, I color and glue and play with playdough. I teach and love and discipline. I truly do love my job!
My earliest memories include playing with baby dolls. I had every baby doll imaginable. Mrs. Beasley, Baby Alive, Betsey Wetsy, Holly Hobby, Raggedy Anne, I had them all! Nothing made me happier than the Sears Wishbook Catalog. I knew my Nana would let me choose any dolly I wanted for Christmas. So, its pretty obvious that I wanted to be a mom. I embraced motherhood with passion and determination and incredible joy. I'm the kind of mom who couldn't wait for school vacations so that I could have my kids back at home again with me. Yeah, I know, most of you think I'm crazy, but its true.
My own daughters are nearly grown now. Kristi is in college and Chelsea is in high school. They don't need me like they used to. Don't get me wrong, they need me, it just looks different now.We are still very much a part of each others daily lives. Anyway, I thought my "mommy days" were over. But God had another plan. The opportunity to start my own daycare fell into my lap. It was a chance I didn't want to pass up. To love babies again, be a support to their parents AND get paid? I jumped on it.
Its not a job for everyone. But for me its a perfect fit. However, there are some challenging, down right difficult days.. Yesterday was one of those days. Jack is a beautiful 4 month old. Normally he's happy and predictable. Yesterday though, I was faced with an infant who fussed for most of the afternoon. He was clean, he was fed, he had napped but he was UNHAPPY. I tried everything, rocking, singing, playing. No matter what I tried, I didn't do whatever it was he wanted me to do.
Isabella is an adventurous one year old, who is experiencing a bit of separation anxiety. She wouldn't let me leave her sight. The minute I turned my back, set her down or stepped away for just a moment she WAILED. A blood curdling, "Where are you?!" screech is more like it. Katie, the two-going-on-twelve year old demanded. She demanded...... "something else for lunch" and she demanded "to watch Dora NOT Barney". She demanded all day long. She argued about putting her shoes on and taking the time to use the potty. You see, it was a long long day.
But this morning, as I write, baby Jack is peacefully sleeping in his bed. He looks angelic. His deep slow breathes epitomizes relaxation. His little lips are curled into a precious smile. Bella and Katie are playing silly peek-a-boo games with each other and completely cracking each other up.The sound of their laughter is incredibly beautiful and contagious. I can't help but laugh too! Every now and then, one or both, will approach me with a spontaneous hug or a kiss. Immediately, I have forgotten yesterday's chaos and exhaustion.
I wonder if that's sort of how God looks down on us?
Do we appear as small children, immature in our wants and reactions and behaviors? We fuss and demand and wail. We want what we want....and we want it NOW! We throw our tantrums about what we want God to do, when we want him to do it and how we expect him to do it too. He just sits there patiently, maybe with an eye roll or a shake of his head. He knows.....he knows it will pass and no matter how poorly we behave he'll love us regardless. He forgets our tantrums and our bad decisions and simply delights in our being.
I imagine he looks down on us and chuckles.....often. He marvels at us when we do obey him. He laughs when we entertain him with our antics. He takes joy in knowing we are his children and there's nothing we can ever do that will change his love. How great is that?
Duty calls........there's a fort of blankets we need to explore and a tower of blocks we need to knock over and rebuild!
Hugs
Michelle
*childrens names have been changed to protect their anonymity
I love my job. It's true! Anyone one who knows me, knows I do.
I am a daycare provider. Five days a week I welcome 3 beautiful children into my home and do my very best to love and care for them like they were my own. I make bottles and change diapers. I read stories and kiss boo-boos. I serve lunches and tuck sweet sleepy faces in for naps. I trip over toys and wipe up spills. I dance with Elmo and the gang, I color and glue and play with playdough. I teach and love and discipline. I truly do love my job!
My earliest memories include playing with baby dolls. I had every baby doll imaginable. Mrs. Beasley, Baby Alive, Betsey Wetsy, Holly Hobby, Raggedy Anne, I had them all! Nothing made me happier than the Sears Wishbook Catalog. I knew my Nana would let me choose any dolly I wanted for Christmas. So, its pretty obvious that I wanted to be a mom. I embraced motherhood with passion and determination and incredible joy. I'm the kind of mom who couldn't wait for school vacations so that I could have my kids back at home again with me. Yeah, I know, most of you think I'm crazy, but its true.
My own daughters are nearly grown now. Kristi is in college and Chelsea is in high school. They don't need me like they used to. Don't get me wrong, they need me, it just looks different now.We are still very much a part of each others daily lives. Anyway, I thought my "mommy days" were over. But God had another plan. The opportunity to start my own daycare fell into my lap. It was a chance I didn't want to pass up. To love babies again, be a support to their parents AND get paid? I jumped on it.
Its not a job for everyone. But for me its a perfect fit. However, there are some challenging, down right difficult days.. Yesterday was one of those days. Jack is a beautiful 4 month old. Normally he's happy and predictable. Yesterday though, I was faced with an infant who fussed for most of the afternoon. He was clean, he was fed, he had napped but he was UNHAPPY. I tried everything, rocking, singing, playing. No matter what I tried, I didn't do whatever it was he wanted me to do.
Isabella is an adventurous one year old, who is experiencing a bit of separation anxiety. She wouldn't let me leave her sight. The minute I turned my back, set her down or stepped away for just a moment she WAILED. A blood curdling, "Where are you?!" screech is more like it. Katie, the two-going-on-twelve year old demanded. She demanded...... "something else for lunch" and she demanded "to watch Dora NOT Barney". She demanded all day long. She argued about putting her shoes on and taking the time to use the potty. You see, it was a long long day.
But this morning, as I write, baby Jack is peacefully sleeping in his bed. He looks angelic. His deep slow breathes epitomizes relaxation. His little lips are curled into a precious smile. Bella and Katie are playing silly peek-a-boo games with each other and completely cracking each other up.The sound of their laughter is incredibly beautiful and contagious. I can't help but laugh too! Every now and then, one or both, will approach me with a spontaneous hug or a kiss. Immediately, I have forgotten yesterday's chaos and exhaustion.
I wonder if that's sort of how God looks down on us?
Do we appear as small children, immature in our wants and reactions and behaviors? We fuss and demand and wail. We want what we want....and we want it NOW! We throw our tantrums about what we want God to do, when we want him to do it and how we expect him to do it too. He just sits there patiently, maybe with an eye roll or a shake of his head. He knows.....he knows it will pass and no matter how poorly we behave he'll love us regardless. He forgets our tantrums and our bad decisions and simply delights in our being.
I imagine he looks down on us and chuckles.....often. He marvels at us when we do obey him. He laughs when we entertain him with our antics. He takes joy in knowing we are his children and there's nothing we can ever do that will change his love. How great is that?
Duty calls........there's a fort of blankets we need to explore and a tower of blocks we need to knock over and rebuild!
Hugs
Michelle
*childrens names have been changed to protect their anonymity
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Pity Party for One
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petion, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."~Philippians 4: 6&7
Ever have one of those days when everything seems off?
It started last night with a slight disagreement with my husband. Actually, it wasn't even a disagreement, it was a discussion. An adult coversation over dinner where he voiced his opinion and I voiced mine. We were respectful and kind. We listened to each others thoughts and answers but in the end we both maintained our views. Sounds very adult-like huh? I suppose it was....except....I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I chewed on it, tried to swallow it and then chewed it some more. I stewed in it....I brewed in it...I let it simmer and percolate. I let it keep me awake last night and I let it affect my day, all day, today.
Once something like this starts for me, I get all caught up in it. The next thing you know, I'm totally ticked off and often tearful. Then I start to notice things that have absolutely nothing to do with the original issue. For instance, because I was frustrated and annoyed with my husband, it irritated me the way he left his dirty clothes on our bedroom floor when he went to work. And I hate the way he leaves the toilet seat up and the dirty coffee cup on the counter. I even hate the way HIS dog sheds all over MY house!
Now since I'm in such a good mood, I should probably think about everything else that's wrong......the can of paint that leaked all over the laundry room floor, empty toilet paper roll that someone didn't replace, the incessant phone calls from politicians urging me to vote. What about the fact my girlfriend that hurt my feelings this week? The 7 loads of laundry that need to be done and cobwebs in every corner that need to be caught. Ugh. I am having myself a good ole fashioned PITY PARTY! No one hears me, no one understands me, no one appreciates me!
Are you tired yet? I am!!!! I've wasted a whole day....all because my husband I had a very honest, very real, very adult discussion over dinner LAST NIGHT! This is crazy!So, I'm cancelling the pity party !!!
Instead, I am going to choose to be grateful. I am grateful for the husband who takes the time to listen to my thoughts. Who doesn't demand that his views also be mine. I will choose to pick up those dirty clothes (and not mention it later) knowing that he was in a hurry to get to work, to provide for our family. I will be grateful we have hot coffee to start each day. I will be grateful for the companionship of the shedding dog, for her silly antics and for the laughter she brings to this house. I will choose to believe the friend didn't mean to offend me and I will be grateful for her friendship. I will be grateful for the abundance of clothes and the electric washing machine to clean them. I will try, ever so hard, to be grateful for the political calls, knowing that we live in a country where democracy and freedom to vote is celebrated. I'm still trying to find a way to be grateful for the cobwebs :)
The bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"- Philippians 4:6&7.
This was the first scripture I ever memorized. You would think by now, I would remember to lean on that truth, day in and day out.
"Do not be anxious about anything but in EVERYTHING" ......everything probably includes this little discussion with Chris? and all those other worries and woes? .....
" by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God " .......yup, here's where I messed up, I didn't pray about it, I thought and thought and thought some more, that's probably referred to as being "anxious"....
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" !
Well, HELLO there's what I was looking for all along. Peace. P.E.A.C.E.
Need I say more? I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, fold the laundry and pat the dog. I'm not sure I'll answer the phone or get to the those cobwebs though. heee heeee
Hugs
Michelle
Ever have one of those days when everything seems off?
It started last night with a slight disagreement with my husband. Actually, it wasn't even a disagreement, it was a discussion. An adult coversation over dinner where he voiced his opinion and I voiced mine. We were respectful and kind. We listened to each others thoughts and answers but in the end we both maintained our views. Sounds very adult-like huh? I suppose it was....except....I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I chewed on it, tried to swallow it and then chewed it some more. I stewed in it....I brewed in it...I let it simmer and percolate. I let it keep me awake last night and I let it affect my day, all day, today.
Once something like this starts for me, I get all caught up in it. The next thing you know, I'm totally ticked off and often tearful. Then I start to notice things that have absolutely nothing to do with the original issue. For instance, because I was frustrated and annoyed with my husband, it irritated me the way he left his dirty clothes on our bedroom floor when he went to work. And I hate the way he leaves the toilet seat up and the dirty coffee cup on the counter. I even hate the way HIS dog sheds all over MY house!
Now since I'm in such a good mood, I should probably think about everything else that's wrong......the can of paint that leaked all over the laundry room floor, empty toilet paper roll that someone didn't replace, the incessant phone calls from politicians urging me to vote. What about the fact my girlfriend that hurt my feelings this week? The 7 loads of laundry that need to be done and cobwebs in every corner that need to be caught. Ugh. I am having myself a good ole fashioned PITY PARTY! No one hears me, no one understands me, no one appreciates me!
Are you tired yet? I am!!!! I've wasted a whole day....all because my husband I had a very honest, very real, very adult discussion over dinner LAST NIGHT! This is crazy!So, I'm cancelling the pity party !!!
Instead, I am going to choose to be grateful. I am grateful for the husband who takes the time to listen to my thoughts. Who doesn't demand that his views also be mine. I will choose to pick up those dirty clothes (and not mention it later) knowing that he was in a hurry to get to work, to provide for our family. I will be grateful we have hot coffee to start each day. I will be grateful for the companionship of the shedding dog, for her silly antics and for the laughter she brings to this house. I will choose to believe the friend didn't mean to offend me and I will be grateful for her friendship. I will be grateful for the abundance of clothes and the electric washing machine to clean them. I will try, ever so hard, to be grateful for the political calls, knowing that we live in a country where democracy and freedom to vote is celebrated. I'm still trying to find a way to be grateful for the cobwebs :)
The bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"- Philippians 4:6&7.
This was the first scripture I ever memorized. You would think by now, I would remember to lean on that truth, day in and day out.
"Do not be anxious about anything but in EVERYTHING" ......everything probably includes this little discussion with Chris? and all those other worries and woes? .....
" by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God " .......yup, here's where I messed up, I didn't pray about it, I thought and thought and thought some more, that's probably referred to as being "anxious"....
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" !
Well, HELLO there's what I was looking for all along. Peace. P.E.A.C.E.
Need I say more? I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, fold the laundry and pat the dog. I'm not sure I'll answer the phone or get to the those cobwebs though. heee heeee
Hugs
Michelle
Friday, October 29, 2010
"Who Am I?"
"For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well"~Psalm 139:14
Welcome Back! Thank GOD its Friday :).....right?!
Today I thought I'd share a difficult assignment I was given this week. Each Monday evening I attend a bible study called "Boundaries" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Its a terrific bible study and I would highly recommend it to EVERYONE! Anyway, during the course of our discussion this past Monday, our Pastor, "Babs" posed the question "Who Am I?" With some reservation, although not much, she assigned us all an essay. I immediately bristled!
Unfortunately, her question also contained qualifiers. We could not include "roles" such as I am a mother, I am wife....and we couldn't use "god-talk" such as "I am saved by the blood of the Lamb". Well, there goes MY essay!!!! This essay should include my feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices and values. Ugh.
Who am I?
hmmmmmm
Who am I?
Who am I? .........this is what I came up with :
Its a legitimate question. Its a tough question!!!! I already hate this assignment, does that give you any indication of "who I am"? I've spent the past 20+ years losing myself, so I'm not entirely sure. I have lost myself in the busyness of parenting, creating a home, working, chores, basically the existence we call life. I'm not sure who I am exactly but I'll give this my best shot.
I am......
~a woman deeply in love with her husband, her children and her friends. I am always ready to "go the extra mile" to prove my love. Sometimes I'll do it at my own expense. I am willing to sacrifice my time, my money, my energy, even myself, to take care of people. Often I take care of people I don't know. Yes, I am a text book case of codependency. I am the friend who's great to have beside you in a crisis.
I am......
~a woman who struggles with feelings in general. Including but not limited to fear, anxiety, depression and anger. I often use food to supress these feelings. I am the by-product of a broken home and child survivor of domestic violence.
I am.......
~a woman who wants more than anything to believe....that all God says is true....about Himself, about me, about love. I want to know it and to feel it. I want to believe I am loved and accepted. I know intellectually what the Bible says, I just want to feel it with all of my heart.
I am......
~a woman who loves bible studies, reading, writing, crochetting.I love shopping for a bargain and I absolutely adore a fantastic purse! I love any of the Real Housewives shows! I love babies and laughter and the smell of my husbands hair. I love the sound of the rain and having coffee on the porch at dawn. I love having a best friend to share my real self with, trusting she can handle, the good, the bad and the ugly.
I am......
~fiercely loyal, a bit overprotective, often defensive and too critical of myself and others. I am surprisingly stubborn and a perfectionist at heart (that is...I'm a control freak). By now you know, I am also an "Open Book".
I am......
~still learning, growing and hoping!
and I'm wondering......who are YOU? I'd love to hear your feedback. Have a blessed weekend!
Hugs!
Michelle
Welcome Back! Thank GOD its Friday :).....right?!
Today I thought I'd share a difficult assignment I was given this week. Each Monday evening I attend a bible study called "Boundaries" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Its a terrific bible study and I would highly recommend it to EVERYONE! Anyway, during the course of our discussion this past Monday, our Pastor, "Babs" posed the question "Who Am I?" With some reservation, although not much, she assigned us all an essay. I immediately bristled!
Unfortunately, her question also contained qualifiers. We could not include "roles" such as I am a mother, I am wife....and we couldn't use "god-talk" such as "I am saved by the blood of the Lamb". Well, there goes MY essay!!!! This essay should include my feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices and values. Ugh.
Who am I?
hmmmmmm
Who am I?
Who am I? .........this is what I came up with :
Its a legitimate question. Its a tough question!!!! I already hate this assignment, does that give you any indication of "who I am"? I've spent the past 20+ years losing myself, so I'm not entirely sure. I have lost myself in the busyness of parenting, creating a home, working, chores, basically the existence we call life. I'm not sure who I am exactly but I'll give this my best shot.
I am......
~a woman deeply in love with her husband, her children and her friends. I am always ready to "go the extra mile" to prove my love. Sometimes I'll do it at my own expense. I am willing to sacrifice my time, my money, my energy, even myself, to take care of people. Often I take care of people I don't know. Yes, I am a text book case of codependency. I am the friend who's great to have beside you in a crisis.
I am......
~a woman who struggles with feelings in general. Including but not limited to fear, anxiety, depression and anger. I often use food to supress these feelings. I am the by-product of a broken home and child survivor of domestic violence.
I am.......
~a woman who wants more than anything to believe....that all God says is true....about Himself, about me, about love. I want to know it and to feel it. I want to believe I am loved and accepted. I know intellectually what the Bible says, I just want to feel it with all of my heart.
I am......
~a woman who loves bible studies, reading, writing, crochetting.I love shopping for a bargain and I absolutely adore a fantastic purse! I love any of the Real Housewives shows! I love babies and laughter and the smell of my husbands hair. I love the sound of the rain and having coffee on the porch at dawn. I love having a best friend to share my real self with, trusting she can handle, the good, the bad and the ugly.
I am......
~fiercely loyal, a bit overprotective, often defensive and too critical of myself and others. I am surprisingly stubborn and a perfectionist at heart (that is...I'm a control freak). By now you know, I am also an "Open Book".
I am......
~still learning, growing and hoping!
and I'm wondering......who are YOU? I'd love to hear your feedback. Have a blessed weekend!
Hugs!
Michelle
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Iron sharpens iron
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"~Proverbs 27:17
Hello my friends! Welcome to BFFs blog and first official entry. It is with great pleasure and tremendous fear that I welcome you here. Yup, you read that right, I said "fear". I have butterflies in my stomach, my mouth is dry and my fingers are frozen!!!!
You see, writing is my passion. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write. I have dreamed about putting pen to paper and writing the novels that people will devour! My parents encouraged me, my teachers encouraged me, but until recently I have never done anything with the gift God has given me. I've written the occassional email and had a the response of "you need to WRITE"...but I've never really been willing to put myself out there. Writing is personal......very personal. It's equivalent to giving someone a glimpse of your heart and a piece of your soul.
So why now? Why all of a sudden do I feel compelled to just do it and finally take the leap of faith?
Well, it started two weeks ago on a beach in Cozumel, Mexico. My BFF, Tammy and I celebrated our 40th birthdays by taking a Premiere Christian Cruise together. The guest speakers, artists, and attendees were incredible. We both felt God using them to inspire us! As we sat on this gorgeous beach, looking out on the crystal blue waters, the coarse white sand between our toes, the idea to start a "blog" was formed. I jotted down notes, people to involve, topics to write about. We were both excited by the idea and agreed to pray about it. Prayer is often my MO to "stall" for time :)
After we returned from our cruise, refreshed, inspired and excited, the real world collided with our vacation mindset. The every day list of every day distractions took hold.The idea of a blog slipped further and further from my mind. "Maybe someday" I thought. God had a different plan!
He sent me a best friend, the most incredible woman who challenges me almost daily. Tammy and I go way back.....to 7th grade....but that's another story for another day. My point is that she knows me. She knows that I let the distractions of this world deter me from focusing on God's plan sometimes. She knows that although I love to write, I don't make time to do it. She knows that my intentions are good but my time management skills.....well, not so much!
So, God impressed upon her heart to set up this blog site. After an already busy week of travel, she sat in an airport, and with love in her heart, designed this blog. Is that a friend or what? She could have taken a nap, read a magazine, sipped a coffee and just savored the end of the day. Instead, she used what little time she had and dedicated it to this! She knew I wouldn't do it, so she did! By doing so, she pushed me, a little harder than I would have pushed myself, for sure!
That my dear friends, is what "iron sharpens iron" means to me. It's being real with one another. It's support and encouragement. It's being honest and loving at the same time. It's challenging your friend to do, to think, to be something outside their comfort zone. Often it is messy.
Picture it! Iron against iron, creates heat and friction, sometimes even sparks, but in the end it produces a sharper, stronger, better product.....a better friendship. You may not always LIKE what a friend says or advises. You may not WANT to hear what they have to tell you. You may not FEEL like doing "the right thing". But a true friend will tell you either way.
I pray that you have a BFF as loving as mine. One who will speak truth into your life. One who will love you, when you are right and when you are wrong. One who will send you "tough love" text messages, after she's let you have your pity party. I pray, that I will be that friend too.
God bless you Tamra Jean <3 I thank God every day for restoring our friendship and showing me what BFF stands for!
Hello my friends! Welcome to BFFs blog and first official entry. It is with great pleasure and tremendous fear that I welcome you here. Yup, you read that right, I said "fear". I have butterflies in my stomach, my mouth is dry and my fingers are frozen!!!!
You see, writing is my passion. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write. I have dreamed about putting pen to paper and writing the novels that people will devour! My parents encouraged me, my teachers encouraged me, but until recently I have never done anything with the gift God has given me. I've written the occassional email and had a the response of "you need to WRITE"...but I've never really been willing to put myself out there. Writing is personal......very personal. It's equivalent to giving someone a glimpse of your heart and a piece of your soul.
So why now? Why all of a sudden do I feel compelled to just do it and finally take the leap of faith?
Well, it started two weeks ago on a beach in Cozumel, Mexico. My BFF, Tammy and I celebrated our 40th birthdays by taking a Premiere Christian Cruise together. The guest speakers, artists, and attendees were incredible. We both felt God using them to inspire us! As we sat on this gorgeous beach, looking out on the crystal blue waters, the coarse white sand between our toes, the idea to start a "blog" was formed. I jotted down notes, people to involve, topics to write about. We were both excited by the idea and agreed to pray about it. Prayer is often my MO to "stall" for time :)
After we returned from our cruise, refreshed, inspired and excited, the real world collided with our vacation mindset. The every day list of every day distractions took hold.The idea of a blog slipped further and further from my mind. "Maybe someday" I thought. God had a different plan!
He sent me a best friend, the most incredible woman who challenges me almost daily. Tammy and I go way back.....to 7th grade....but that's another story for another day. My point is that she knows me. She knows that I let the distractions of this world deter me from focusing on God's plan sometimes. She knows that although I love to write, I don't make time to do it. She knows that my intentions are good but my time management skills.....well, not so much!
So, God impressed upon her heart to set up this blog site. After an already busy week of travel, she sat in an airport, and with love in her heart, designed this blog. Is that a friend or what? She could have taken a nap, read a magazine, sipped a coffee and just savored the end of the day. Instead, she used what little time she had and dedicated it to this! She knew I wouldn't do it, so she did! By doing so, she pushed me, a little harder than I would have pushed myself, for sure!
That my dear friends, is what "iron sharpens iron" means to me. It's being real with one another. It's support and encouragement. It's being honest and loving at the same time. It's challenging your friend to do, to think, to be something outside their comfort zone. Often it is messy.
Picture it! Iron against iron, creates heat and friction, sometimes even sparks, but in the end it produces a sharper, stronger, better product.....a better friendship. You may not always LIKE what a friend says or advises. You may not WANT to hear what they have to tell you. You may not FEEL like doing "the right thing". But a true friend will tell you either way.
I pray that you have a BFF as loving as mine. One who will speak truth into your life. One who will love you, when you are right and when you are wrong. One who will send you "tough love" text messages, after she's let you have your pity party. I pray, that I will be that friend too.
God bless you Tamra Jean <3 I thank God every day for restoring our friendship and showing me what BFF stands for!
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