"My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth"~Psalm 121:2
Remember the famous Beatles song? That could have been the theme song to my life for the past 10 days! Although I've never considered myself to be particularly strong or independent, it seems as though to some degree, I am. I don't ask for help all that often. In my day to day life, I manage fairly well. The typical things like keeping up with laundry, grocery shopping, working, are relatively kept under control.
Recently, I became aware of a personal medical issue. It seemed relatively minor. I attempted to self diagnose and treat the problem. One week passed. Then another and a third. By the end of the fourth week I was in a fair amount of pain and decided I needed to see a doctor. Without an ounce of apprehension, I visited my doctor on a Tuesday afternoon. I fully expected an antibiotic and complete resolution of the matter. Boy was I surprised when my doctor took one look at my issue and said "YOU need a surgeon!". She promptly scheduled an appointment for me to meet with a surgeon 2 days later.
Truth be told I begged her to deal with the situation in the office. She refused. I pushed (and I can be pushy when I want to be!) and she adamantly refused. I sat stunned in my car in the parking lot. A surgeon? how can this be? Suddenly, my cell began to ring. A nurse explained she I neededd speak with the surgeon directly. Within minutes the surgeon called and requested I find someone to drive with and go the Emergency Room. Wait, what? This isn't happening, right?
The surgeon explained that although not "serious" the issue needed to be addressed immediately. What should have been a minor issue had turned into a major one. In no small part because of my self diagnosis and hesitancy to address the problem promptly. As the world swirled around me I tried to piece together what was happening, the physical pain I was being told I was facing, and WHO could I turn to? Who did I want to turn to?
It took me nearly 45 minutes to stop shaking and drive myself to the softball field where my husband was coaching. He drove me to hospital where we spent the next 4 hours. My lessons in ASKING began there. The days that followed were, without a doubt, the most humbling and painful I have ever experienced.
*I asked my husband to be strong for me. To hold my hand, to ask medical questions, to let me cry when I needed to. To drive me, to stand over me during the painful procedure, to contact people and update them on my condition. I asked him to care for me in ways I don't usually have to rely on him.
*I asked medical professionals to treat me....with respect, with compassion, with medical procedures
*I asked a friend to fill and drop off my prescriptions
*I asked another friend to bring over medical supplies
*I asked two girlfriends to stay and visit and make me laugh
*I asked my daughter to get this and get that, help here and help there.
*I asked my best friend to pray. There wasn't anything else she could do. Away on a vacation with her family, I know it was hard for her not to be here.
*I asked a dear friend to understand when I couldn't attend a very special event in her life that week.
*I asked my boss for time off and for understanding.
*I asked my co-workers for their understanding and to fill my void on the team until I could return.
*I asked God every day....for healing, for the strength to endure, for comfort, just to be near me.
I asked for more favors and grace and assistance during this process than I think I ever have. It was truly humbling to NEED other people to help me. It was even more humbling to watch each and every person I asked, step up and do just that.
What I saw happen during this experience was amazing. When I set aside my pride, my preconceived notions, my stubbornness....people showed up in a big way. My husband, my daughters, my friends, my co-workers. When I asked and I allowed them to help, I allowed them to share their love, their talents, themselves. I allowed them to be a little more of who they are. It was a beautiful thing to watch. By showing my weakness, I allowed them to reveal their strengths. Truthfully, I saw the happiness they felt in helping me and I was a little ashamed that I hadn't seen it sooner.
I am so grateful for the love I have received through allof this mess . I am also very aware of how closesly this parallels with my relationship with Jesus. When I allow him to be involved in my life, the good, the bad and the nasty, He is allowed to show me His strength. When I accept His love, His gifts, His blessings, yes I am blessed, but it also makes Him incredibly happy to help me.
Dear Jesus, Thank you for teaching me lessons on humility. Thank you for revealing your love through other people. Thank you for modern medicine and medical professionals. May I always remember the importance of allowing other people to shine their light and share their love. You created us to love and to be loved. Its just as important for me to receive, as it is to give. In your name I pray, Amen <3
Hugs!
Michelle
